Fear of Mind (a stream of consciousness)

I go to bed fed, clean, warm, and comfortable, yet terrified 

The silence and darkness leave too much room for my curious imagination

My mind waits for this time to share with me the design of my defeat

She and I are all alone here, leaving no stone unturned in the ruins of my subconscious

Unidentified voices voice their opinions on my past, present, and future 

Reminding me of what I don't have anymore, what I don’t have now, and what I will never have

They speak negative self-fulfilling prophecies into my life to watch me squirm and tremble at the thought of my future failures

I breathe in the toxins of self-doubt instead of the antidote to my delusions 

I am seduced by the nightfall angels that sing such sweet songs of sorrow

These lethal lullabies convince me of things I can not see but believe to be real

Before I even get to try she tells me I can’t

“If you do that no one is going to get it”

“You don’t have what it takes”

“You’re not talented enough”

“You’re not smart enough”

“You’re just not good enough”

I’ve had enough

I can no longer be the bystander in this self-abuse

I refuse to be crippled by my invented catastrophes 

I rather let the light blind me to see my future, than walk in the dark and stop myself short

I am the only one creating this fear

And I am the only one that can overcome it